Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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