A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

What's big and purple? Barney

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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