a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops