What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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where's mom I killed her

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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