What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

why was the cat black it was a black cat

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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