How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops