Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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View Terms of Service

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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