Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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