- Anti Joke

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed wink Parent: whut?

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...