Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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