Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Justin beiber..

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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first

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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