roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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