John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down -15

(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops