A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

Women's Rights..

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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