Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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