Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops