A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Justin Beiber

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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