What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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What is white and black and red all over.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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