Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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What's 9+10? 19

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This is not a joke or is it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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?J?o?k?e?

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops