What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

Hillary Clinton

What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

acualy is dolan

A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

Jinoo walks into a club it's not a club anymore it's a slaying factory

Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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