my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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