a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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