What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

Anti-jokes are funny.

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...