- Anti Joke

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

Knock Knock.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Jimmy Saville

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"