What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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