Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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