What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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