What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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