Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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