Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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