If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops