There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Why? Because.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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