Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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