Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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