Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

Dick Cheney That's the joke

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...