1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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