What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops