Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Denard Robinson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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