Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Carrot fingers

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Womens rights

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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