What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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