What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops