Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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like if your cool

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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