How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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