Reading the Terms and Conditions

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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I'm Polish.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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