Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Suck pussy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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