Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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