What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

deez nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops