- Anti Joke

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

Yes

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms