What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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were at work systems r down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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