What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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