Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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