How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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