How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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