What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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deez nuts

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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hi jonny

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops