Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

Men's rights

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

My three children are three big mistakes.

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...