You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops