A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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