3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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I wrote a funny joke.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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