Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops