What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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