Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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