How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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