A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

Ding dong Who's there Electricity

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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