Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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