Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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lol

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops