What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...