Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops