What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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