Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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a irish man walks past a bar

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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